library again

well guess what! i am back in the library! wOOt.

this time i am not doing homework or writing a paper. instead i am killing time between classes. its been awhile since i posted a blog so i decided that since i have time to kill i might as well blab on and on in a blog post :)

well, i dont really know what to talk about. these last couple weeks have been a blur because of all the homework ive had.

papers, and projects, and presentations, OH MY!

yeah. just like that. last night my brain finally fried. but i cant stop yet. i still have two finals next week. boo.

ok bye.

Library

so i am currently in my university's library. i am making my sad attempt of writing my theater research paper. i know that i need to get this paper done... as it is due in 2 days. but i just can't get my thoughts straight. its a saturday. i should be back at my apartment sleeping, cleaning, and doing laundry. yes, all three at the same time. i am that talented. however, when i need to get homework done, the library on an early saturday afternoon is quite nice. no one, i repeat NO ONE is in the library at this time. so its way nice to come and get homework done here. its quiet and peaceful. i like it. ever since the first time i stepped foot into this building on a little tour of campus, i fell in love with this building. there are windows everywhere so a lot of natural light comes in. i am all about the natural light. its makes everything so bright and happy and the colors are so crisp and beautiful. its raining outside right now. its cold rain. and its winter. so i dont like it. one of my favorite things is summer rainstorms. its so warm outside and the rain is just so refreshing! ah man, i miss summer. silly winter. i love the holidays associated with winter, but i refuse to like snow or listen to christmas music before thanksgiving. however, i think snow should only be allowed december 24-jan 1. thats it. you get 1 week snow! ok enough of this ranting, ive got a paper to write! ;)

hear ye! hear ye!

so i really dont know if i even have anyone reading my blog. so please put a comment on here to let me know if you read my blog.... im really curious to know who my audience is. thank you!

hmmm...

wow things have been way weird lately. i dont even know how to begin to describe it. ive really been trying to get a hold of things, but things just dont end up working out. it drives me insane because i feel the need to always have a plan. and right now i have no idea what im doing. this last like month has been way boring. no one ever wants to go do anything anymore. the first few weeks since being here were way fun! meeting people, going to parties, and just plain hanging out. now, its just the hassle of trying to get groups of people together and hanging out. we make plans, but they always fall through for some reason or another. and then we end up just watching a movie (most likely a chick flick) in our apartment, alone (no boys). its quite annoying. i mean, i dont want my college experience to be like this. what we had the first weeks was awesome. there was always something fun going on and someone way fun to go party with. i mean, i know we all have homework and work and such, but that doesnt mean we have to stop playing! the weekends are for PLAY. why should i spend my saturday night watching chick flicks and making an 8 o'clock Walmart run. i mean, really? ugh. im trying, so then whats the problem? do i act too immature? am i rude? do i smell funny? what is it?

"where words fail, music speaks"

it makes me sad how i dont listen to my music much anymore. i dont even carry my iPod with me to class. i just leave it in my iPod dock at home. when im in my room getting ready for school/bed is now the only time i really turn it on. or if im in my room doing homework and cleaning and such. i used to pop in my headphones while i walked to class. but im weird and dont like to totally tune out the world each time i walk to class. i like to be able to communicate with people as im walking. and plus i just look so emo with my headphones and forgetting that the world exists around me. on my other blog i like to copy down the lyrics to whatever song really sticks out to me each day. but today, as i was about to write a new post on that blog, no song came to mind. no song was i really feeling it for. its sad because i love being able to find songs that i can really relate to at different times in my life. i mean, i got a letter from my best friend yesterday, then i listened to his playlist. even then did i not find a song. i find this very odd.

i am not very good with words so i hold to the saying, "where words fail, music speaks". i originally found that quote on some guys shirt at Warped Tour this summer. for awhile i had been trying to phrase exactly that. and when i saw that i immediatly (i never know how to spell that right...) copied it down into my phone. in my Music and Lyrics notebook, i have it written down on the front page--just to explain what that notebook is really about. this last summer i transferred the purpose of that notebook to my other blog. because, you know, everything should be electronic these days, right? ha...

i dont even know if anyone reads my blog anymore. but just so you know, i have another blog that i had kept secret for awhile, but now i dont care who sees it. i dont really know what the point to this post is. but you know me, i just like to ramble on about random things.

blah. blahg....blog?

oh blogs. i dont know why i even have one. oh ya! so i can write down random thoughts and rants on a place that i dont care who sees. normally, i care too much about what others think. but here, i like to think that no one reads it and then i feel like i can just let out my feelings.

concerning tumblrs: whats so great about them versus blogs? two of my friends recently each made one. some of my other friends have them as "anti-blogs". whats wrong with blogs? i have one. actually, i have two. so there shouldnt be anything wrong with them.

so these last couple of days have been weird for me. and i dont know why. it's like my days are blurring by now. when people ask how my day was, it takes me a second to think about my day. usually i cant think of any specific thing that made my day good. usually its just that my day was eh--not good, not bad. also, since i am a pretty social person, i try to hurry and get my homework done before i go hang out with people. im eager to get out of my apartment and go see people. but as soon as i get there, i feel the need to create an excuse to get out of there. i love my friends, dont get me wrong, but i wonder if im getting bored of them. which is weird because i love to hang out with them. i have thought of three possible reasons for this:

1. im socially exhausted. yes, that is possible. since i hang out with people all the time, i find it tiresome. especially when we are always staying up really late then needing to wake up early the next day for classes. and just being around people all the time, makes me sick of them.
the cure: have more "me time", or go home one weekend (like im doing this weekend) then come back ready to see your friends again

2. we're running out of exciting things to do. my friends and i are pretty random people, so i dont know why this would be happening. but lately when i go to my friend's apartment all we end up doing is sitting around for awhile before we make the decision to watch a movie and sit around some more. for the first few weeks of school there was always something going on, so we would usually get out and do something before coming back and watching a movie to relax and wind down before going home to go to bed. so it makes me want to go home earlier or not hang out with them because nothing is going on.
the cure: tell people to stop being so fizzing LAZY!

3. im really missing my two best friends. one of them is in New Hampshire. the other is in Indonesia. can you guess why? mishy mishs. yup. i know theyre out there doing what theyre supposed to be doing, but i cant help wishing that they were back home, here with me. i am writing both of them. ive been waiting to here back from the NH one because a) it doesnt take as long to get there and back and b) i wrote him over a week ago and should have gotten a letter earlier this week. the Indonesia one i just barely sent him a letter and it takes 2 weeks there and 2 weeks back. the last i wrote him was the beginning of august and i havent heard from him since, so thats why i wrote him another letter now. so its going to be awhile again before i hear from him. enough of the stats... i think because im missing these two so much that it's effecting my days. too many things remind me of them and i keep finding myself daydreaming to much. so ive been out of it.
the cure: patience. which i have none of.

in conclusion: any, none, or all three of these reasons could be why im acting so weird lately. while im trying to decide which it is, i am just living each day, going to my classes, getting homework and other things done, and just goin with the flow. sometimes the flow is pushing me along too fast or too much and i dont like it. i need to have some resistance to the current. it's what keeps me going in life.

or maybe i just need to find things, even small things (like when i saw a rubber band lying on the ground. -if you dont know, then ask) to make me happy each day so that when people ask me how my day was i can tell them, without hesitation, how great it really was.

p.s. im going to get a Beta fish next week. :)

you fool!

so im back in Logan now. wOOt. ive actually had a ton of fun in the whole two weeks (well almost two weeks...) that ive been here! the very first night we were here, some boys came knocking on Lindsay's door. we let them in and started talking. we actually all sat on the same couch together. you'd think that it'd be awkward to be sitting so close with people--especially boys-- that you just met, but it totally wasnt at all. we feel like we instantly connected with these boys and all became really good friends! seriously every night (except tonight for some reason... maybe we were all just doing homework and were tired or something) we have hung out. most nights we dont go home till almost 3 AM. bad habit i know. but so worth it. and hey, im in college, i dont have a freakin curfew, why not stay out late? so far we have watched lots of movies, gone to an outdoor movie, an 80's dance, the Red Jumpsuit Apparatu concert, the Quietdrive concert, camping, and swimming with these guys! there's a little saying that goes like this: GOOD GRADES, SOCIAL LIFE, SLEEP: PICK ONE. it is SO true in college. i wish i could have all three... but i think you can at least have two. so i pick good grades and social life! but sleep is so crucial... bah. this sucks. speaking of which... i should probably be doing just that. but i felt the need to ramble on on my blog. are you enjoying? you should be. or else stop reading my blog you fool. anywho... so im enjoying my classes so far... they dont seem so bad yet... but we'll see how quickly my opinion changes when i have to write one of the billions of papers this semester. barf. ya thats right. i just barfed all over my laptop. just kidding, i really didnt. anyways.... prepare for another random blog. because i miss my random blogs. i had a lot of them last year when i first started this blog. but i guess we'll have to see what happens. tata

p.s. in my "Me-time" yesterday i pulled out a notebook and wrote a letter i dont intend to ever send to guess who. ya thats right... im still feeling it. its nuts. i also got to write in my journal! which i should be a good girl and do more of... being a good girl? or writing in my journal? hmmm i'll let you decide. blah....

bak 2 skool

so i'm off to school tomorrow. i am so ready to start my second year in college! i already know what to expect and so it's not as scary. i'll be moving into a new apartment off-campus where i'll have my own bedroom and bathroom! i'll be living with steph and julie again and we are getting 3 brand new roommates! so exciting to make new friends! plus there are some cute boys who live in the apartments below us. so sweeeet! :D well i'm going to be busy unpacking, setting up my new room, meeting people, getting ready for school, and enjoying being back in logan, so i probably wont be updating this for awhile :) or at least until i have something to blog about. well... till then! ;)

picture time!

so it's been awhile since i last wrote... i just havent had anything to write about i guess. but i am going to post a few pictures of some of my recent happenings with friends and such :) here we go!

these are pics of ...

...when i went on a four-wheeling group date

... paint war at the Laurel retreat

... me and my sister on my birthday

... pyramid of girls at my bday party

... and girls' night in!

"life sucks, and then you die"

so i have pneumonia. need i say more?

i will anyways because i have nothing better to do. so yesterday i woke up at like 5 AM with the chills. i would have to say that one of the worst feelings in the world is being hot AND cold at the same time. my body was so bipolar yesterday i really wanted someone to shoot me and put me out of my misery. but that obviously didnt happen or else i wouldnt be posting stuff on my blog right now. so my mom has pneumonia too. she's been on antibiotics since tuesday though. we were both exposed to someone who had it a couple weeks ago. we thought that if i didnt get sick from that that i would maybe get sick from my mom and that it would show up in a week or so. well no, it didnt. it came yesterday. since ive had pneumonia before i was more likely to catch it again. so my mom took me to the doctor yesterday because we were positive it was pneumonia and we didnt think we should postpone it any longer and that i should get on antibiotics asap. so just a little tangent here... i have been making a list of bunch of movies that i want to watch. i thought to myself that there are too many to watch that there is no way i'd have time to watch them all unless i was sick and had nothing else to do but sit in bed and watch movies all day long. so guess what! my wish came true. i dont mean to sound all complainey here... but i literally feel like crap. my chills and fever are gone today, but i am still really HOT! my mom felt my head and said i wasnt hot at all, but cool. oh stupid body of mine. at least i was able to sleep through the whole night last night. another thing i think that is the worst feeling in the world is when you are so tired that all you want to do is sleep but you cant because you have the stupid chills. i took some medicine right before i went to bed, hoping it would make me drowsy enough to sleep long enough. well it worked, but i still have a pounding headache. ugh. ok i'm done complaining now.

p.s. does anyone know where that quote for my title is from??? fifty points goes to the winner.

missionaries!

so i am at that age where all or most of my guy friends are gone on their missions. i have been writing a few of them already. i absolutely love getting mail and i look forward to their letters everyday! now that some of them are out of the country, it is going to take a long time to get my letters out to them and then for them to get back to me. i guess i'll just have to be patient, a trait that i wish i was better at. anywho, so i have been getting some fun letters from my friends. for awhile i started using dearelder.com. for those of you who dont know what that is, its where you can type out your letters and for a small fee you send them to your missionaries. they print them out and then send them for you. well i got bored of that quickly because i missed handwriting my letters and adding pictures and drawings and all that personal jazz. the prices are the same so i'd rather just have fun writing my letters and sending stuff too. in one letter to a very good friend of mine i wrote a very colorful letter and along with a few pictures i also sent a couple of fake tattoos. haha. to another missionary, my cousin actually, i sent a couple of sudoku puzzles. lol! i have also colored pictures of disney princesses and sent those out as well. i like making my letters colorful with lots of different colored pens, as well as adding random drawings of inside jokes with each friend. i miss my boys... i wish they werent gone, but i know that they must be out doing the Lord's work because that is what they are supposed to be doing. i am ecstatic for the day when they get back and i get to see them again. i know its a long ways away, but i hope things havent changed too much that we arent as good as friends anymore. see, a few of the guys im writing i am very close to, they were some of my very best friends in high school. :)

p.s. the picture on the right is from one of my friends' farewell and this was taken of all of us together :) the one on the left was taken at our Senior Baccalaureate (probably just butchered that word, but you get the idea), it was right before graduation. oh the nostalgia...

Midnight Movies!

So last week I was able to go to TWO midnight showings of movies in a row! The first night was Eclipse! The girls and I made some pretty awesome t-shirts and had some time before so we walked around Gateway and took pictures! We had so much fun at the premiere! It was such a good movie!! Here are some pics of that night!

The next night was Avatar the Last Airbender! We had so much fun dressing up and we looked amazing! The movie was disappointing, but we still had an action-packed time being all dressed up! Here are some pics of that night!

heartless harlot much?

so i dont get it. i think i must be heartless or emotionless or not very thoughtful on important subjects or something because i can never think of anything to write on my blog except when ive gone through a breakup or something else emotionally tramatic like that. like ive gone back through some of my old posts and a lot of them seem to be around the time when ive gone through a breakup. and most of them involve song lyrics. that is because i am horrible with words so i listen to lots of music and find the words that i cannot say. if you recall to one of my posts from last fall, i told about a notebook that i made called "Music and Lyrics". its a notebook full of song lyrics that stick out to me on certain days and i record them in my notebook. so anyway, i have just noticed that the past week when ive come on my blog to check things or whatnot i have had a hard time thinking of something to write. before, when i was going through a breakup, there was always that song at certain points that just really stuck out to me and i just had to share it somewhere, and that somewhere just happened to be my blog. i think that since i havent had anything to say that concerns my breakup lately that that means im over it? i mean, the guy is still my friend and we've hung out a few times since and we even got to talk things over and talk about how we are going to just stay good friends and i guess i just needed to move on. which is why the posts have stopped coming. which is weird, i mean c'mon! dont i have other things to talk about in my life!? .... this is why i created my blog, so i can talk about random stuff about myself and what i think about things and not care what others think, right? i am a very random person, i should be able to swim to the deep end and talk about other things. so starting next post i will talk about something else! well, maybe... lol i cant make any guarantees! i just dont know the next time i'll get on my blog. my life is so undpredictable these days. i am just enjoying my summer with my amazing friends :) well tata for now!

some things are better left unsaid

Is honesty really the best policy? Sometimes I wonder. Like, I know its very important to tell the truth and all, but sometimes I feel like it's better to just keep your mouth shut. I love to be open with my friends and be able to tell them how I feel about things. But sometimes it comes back to bite you in the butt. Though some things are better left unsaid, other things are better to be shared. I had a big talk with a good friend tonight and I was able to really open up and be honest about things. I was really glad that they were able to take it so well and not end up freaking out and thinking I am a nut case or something ;) It was really nice to be able to talk about things so freely and get some things cleared up. I am glad that we can work things out, no matter how hard they are for me. I just hope I didn't say anything wrong tonight.. or taken the wrong way. I don't often open up to people, especially ones I don't know very well, but I have an amazing friend that I feel I can talk to about anything now. We haven't been friends for very long, so this friend should feel privileged that I am able to choose him as the friend I confide in. See, I have my girlfriends that I talk to about juicy and girly things, but it's the guy friends that get to hear from the deep corners of my mind. Recently, those guy friends have left on their missions, or are d-bags, or have just moved on in their lives so then I didn't have anyone close to me that I could talk to. Nobody likes to feel alone. I hadn't felt so alone in such a long time. But now I have a new friend that will have to expect random phone calls at all hours of the day and night and listen to my senseless venting and balling. I hope he's up for it. Maybe that's why I've gone through so many close guy friends... maybe I scare them away. I am no nut case... at least I think so. I don't know... you tell me :)

Ooook... now for some music and lyrics time! This song is Blame it on the Changes by Dashboard Confessional. This is the song that made me love DC :)

i lay down, i cant sleep
my mind drums on repeat
i stare at the ceiling from my side
i reach out you're right there
but you're lost in the details
i wait for the end of a long night

(chorus)
you can blame it on the changes
i can take it any way it is
just got lost but we both found
we need this more than ever can
you take it can we save it
sink your teeth in tear away at it
can we hold out can you hold on
cuz i need you more than you know now

we play like we dont know
we both lie but we dont show
that something is changing between us
we start out in one lane the same road
the same name but something we cant see divides us

(chorus)

cuz i need you more than you know
cuz i need you more than you know

dont run away cuz i need you more than ever now

you can blame it on the changes
i can take it any way it is
we just got lost but we both found
we need this more than ever
can you take it can we save it
sink our teeth in tear away at it
can we hold out can we hold on
cuz i need you more than ever
cuz i need you more than you know now

NOW volume # what!?

So I am sure we all know the NOW CD's, ya know the "NOW that's what I call music volume such and such" right? Well currently there are 34 volumes! I have volumes 5 & 6 from way back in the day! Ain't that crazy!? Well I think so! It is just so crazy that these songs are so old because I am not that old! My sister and I listened to these CD's so much! It has been so long since I've heard most of these songs, but as soon as I started listening to them again, all the lyrics came rushing back to me and I knew the songs!! There is also something weird about listening to the same songs in the same order a lot, ya know? Like when one song ends and you' are waiting for the next track to start, in your head you can hear the intro to that next track when it hasnt even started yet! LOL I find it cool. And so it's weird when I listen to them on my iPod where I always have my songs on shuffle. Anyway.... so these 2 super old volumes hold hit songs from various artists such as Britney Spears, 98 Degrees, Destiny's Child, Everclear, Bon Jovi, Jessica Simpson, Backstreet Boys, and more! Isn't that crazy!? One song that I have found a new love for is Back Here, by BBMak. And now I am going to copy down the lyrics because I like this song a lot! :)

Baby set me free from this misery
I can't take it no more
Since you went away nothing's been the same
Don't know what I'm living for
Here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do

Until you're back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you're back here baby yeah
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go

So I told you lies even made you cry
Baby I was so wrong
Girl I promise you now my love is true
This is where my heart belongs
'Cause here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do

Until you're back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you're back here baby
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go

And I wonder, are you thinking of me
'Cause I'm thinking of you
And I wonder
Are you ever coming back in my life?
'Cause here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do

Until you're back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you're back here baby
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go

No need to be bitter, but...

The Seven Days of Lonely, by I Nine
Oh it's deafening,
The bitter truth.
I'm doing everything for the first time again without you.
I pretend I'm ok,
but it aches inside.
There's got to be a way that's better than just getting by.

The Memory, by Mayday Parade
This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It's killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless

Well I'm not really sure why I'm sharing my bitterness with the world and I don't even know why I'm bitter, but I just need to get it out before it bottles too much inside of me and decides to randomly explode on some unsuspecting victims. That would be no bueno. So I guess I am sprouting it out in small bits. I have just been listening to a lot of my music and lyrics just pop out to me and I feel the need to write them down, especially the ones that mean the most to me at certain places of time in my life.

Note: whatever is said on my blog, I am not held accountable because its mostly just senseless rambling

random thoughts

So over the past little bit I have been collecting little song lyrics from random songs that I have. I have compiled them onto my phone, just keeping them as a draft text. I have been wanting to share them, but Facebook just seems to ... bleh. So I am going to list them here, where there are less viewers, or at least I think so.

• after everything I must confess I need you
• what's holding me back is the thought of time we never had
• memories oh they cut like knives
• I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start
• so much for my happy ending
• you could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day
• I never thought I'd get bit by this lovebug again
• love is clear as the color of water and I'm so glad I found you
• I need you more than you know
• she's eighteen, much too young to know what a kiss like that would mean
• keep your heart open wide, save it for somebody who cares
• baby, I sorely miss the vibrant gleam that's in your eyes
• it all goes back to the first kiss, it was the one I thought I'd never miss
• the first kiss stole the breath from my lips, why did the last one tear us apart?
• save your heart for someone who leaves you breathless
• it's cold in my apartment as I'm changing all the colors from the brightest reds to grays
• I'll be fine I swear, I'm just gone beyond repair

Bedroom Makeover- Extreme Edition

new paint colors on walls and trim

new dresser

new bookcase

aqua curtains

So here is just a few pics of my new room! The colors used to be pink, green, and yellow. It is definitely different now, but I love it!

Summah Time!

so its summah! yay! well im home now and just havin tons of fun with my family and friends. i know i said i was going to write things down about what i learned during my first year at college, but of course i am lazy so thats not happening. anyways so we painted my room and got new furniture and such. it looks great! when its all done i'll post some pictures! also, i am still trying to find a job. ive had a couple of interviews already so hopefully i hear back from someone soon! also, a lot of my really good guy friends have left or are leaving on their missions lately. it makes me quite sad. im glad that they have chosen to serve missions, but i just want them back! anyways, so that is pretty much all that has been going on so far this summah! :D

almost done!

so i am almost done with my first year of college. crazy i know! ive learned A LOT of things, not just school things, but life things as well. when i actually finish this semester i will make a post of all the things ive learned, things that made an impact on me. i would make that list right now, but i dont feel like thinking all deep today. so that will come later when i have more time to think :)

yes hello!!

so it has been awhile since ive made a post. things are going pretty good right now with life. so there isnt much to say except that things are going swell :)

more music and lyrics time

IF YOU WANTED A SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK

Mayday Parade

I'm throwing away pictures

That I should have never taken in the first place

And it's cold in my apartment

As I'm changing all the colors

From the brightest reds to grays

And I hope this makes you happy now

That the flame we had is burning out

And I hope you like your pictures facing down

As even broken hearts may have their doubts

And I'm taking all your memories off the shelf

And I don't need you or anybody else

So take a look at me

See what you want to see

When you get home

time for some Music and Lyrics

The Seven Days of Lonely
Tell me how I'm going to make it
You're the one I can't forget.
It's like I'm running in slow motion
In the nightmare that never ends.
When I try to face it when I wake up,
I hate the way reality sets in.
Oh I wish you could hold me,
Through the seven days of lonely.

the only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one

Relient K Lyrics of the week!
So one day last week was my little tribute to Relient K! I just love their lyrics so much! While listening to their songs, some of the lyrics stuck out to me. Whether the lyrics it is just amazing writing, or it has to do with things going on in my life. I’ll let you figure that out, because I couldn’t tell ya. Well here they are :)

Apathetic Way to Be
Yeah, I'm not angry and no I'm not upset
It's taken me awhile, but this is what I've learned:
emotional attachment is really not a threat
when I'm simply not concerned.

You won't laugh at me like I'm not happy
With anything, anytime, anywhere.
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half, just doesn't care.

Yeah, being apathetic's so pathetic when you're beat.
I don't care, what matters to you does not matter to me.
Cause I don't care.

Over Thinking
I was thinking, over thinking
Cause there’s just many scenarios
To analyze, look in my eyes
Cause your my dream please come true
I was thinking, over thinking
About exactly how I’m not exactly him
I'll break my heart in two
More times than you could ever do
Cause your my dream please come true

The Lining is Silver
Isn't it nice to know
That the lining is silver
Isn't it nice to know
That we're golden

Hope for Every Fallen Man
You may be dead to me,
But that don’t mean we can’t be friends.

Now it’s time to get over this as long as it’s clear you understand,
That I will never trust a single thing you say again.

Don’t give up; it’s not the end.
There’s hope for every fallen man,
To pick themselves up when they think they can
Because with every passing second comes a second chance.

You stole so much from me and there is nothing left to take,
Save a hard-learned lesson on how to not make the same mistake.

Up And Up
Cause it seems I get so hung up on
The history of what's gone wrong
That the hope of a new day is sometimes hard to see
But I'm finally catching on to it
Yeah the past is just a conduit
And the light there at the end is where I'll be

Bite My Tongue
Sometimes I say things that
I wish I could take back
The most crucial thing I lack
Is a thing called tact
But if you're always so intently listening
Then the smartest thing to say is to tell myself not to say a thing

Give Until There’s Nothing Left To Give
No one told me the right way to go about this
So I'll figure it out for myself
Cause how much is too much to give you
Well, I may never know so I'll just give until there's nothing else

Forgiven
Cause we're all guilty of the same things
We think the thoughts whether or not we see them through
And I know that I have been forgiven
And I just hope you can forgive me too

I Need You
I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything I need

Forget And Not Slow Down
I'd rather forget and not slow down
Than gather regret for the things I can't change now

High of 75
And tomorrow, I know,
Will be rainy at best.
And the forecast, I know,
Is that I'll be depressed.

But I'll wait outside
Hoping that I'll catch sight of the sun.

I So Hate Consequences
So here I sit looking at the traffic lights
The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites
I want to run away I want to ditch my life
Cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night

It just now hit me this is more than just a set back
And when you spelled it out, well, I guess I didn’t get that
And every trace of momentum is gone
And this isn’t turning out the way I want

And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what my best defense is
I hate these consequences
Because I know that I let you down
Now I don't wanna deal with that

The Only Thing Worse Than Beating A Dead Horse Is Betting On One
Opinions are immunity
To being told you’re wrong
Paper, rock, and scissors,
they all have their pros and cons

Let It All Out
but tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
oh, inconsistent me
crying out for consistency

and you said I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
the end will justify the pain it took to get us there

and today I will trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
and I'll try my best to just forget
that that man isn't me

reach out to me
make my heart brand new
every beat will be for you
for you

and I know you know
you touched my life
when you touched my heavy heart and made it light

When I Go Down
I'll tell you flat out
it hurts so much to think of this
so from my thoughts I will exclude
this very thing that
I hate more than everything is
the way I'm powerless
to dictate my own moods

I've thrown away
so many things that could've been much more
and I just pray
my problems go away if they're ignored
but that's not the way it works
no that's not the way it works

Prego!

So we found this kitty in the parking lot by our apartment. We took her up to our room with us and fed her some turkey and milk. We named her Prego because she is definately prego! She was so cute walking around and rubbing herself against us and just loving the attention. We made her a little bed so she could take a nap, but she only took a quick one. We didn't have Prego for very long because it was time to take her back outside. Chelsie and I were heartbroken about leaving her because Prego kept following us back and sitting outside the door. Finally we took her farther into the parking lot where she perched herself under a car and we ran away. It was so sad, but it was fun to have a pet for a few hours. :)

HAPPY 1/2 BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

so wednesday was my half birthday! wazoo! :D to celebrate i used my Olive Garden gift card and brought along 3 of my friends to dinner! it was SOOOO yummy! salad... breadsticks... chicken alfredo... YUMMY YUMMY IN MY TUMMY TUMMY ! haha! and then the next day i had leftovers for lunch. i drool just thinking about it! i could seriously be satisfied with dying after eating at Olive Garden because i love that food so much :)

stressful much?

well it has been awhile since i updated my blog! these last couple weeks i have just been so busy with school!! i had tests in all my classes! boo! and to top on the stress of all that, we have been trying to find an apartment for next school year! it is not as easy as it looks we've found out.... we have found several great places we want to live, but not all of them have openings because stupid people already living there want to stay there. boo them! well we still have a few places to look at so hopefull we'll find somewhere good!

Sundance!

Friday was a pretty eventful day! So we left Logan in the morning and made our way to Julie's house. A little bit after, we left to make our way to the movie that we bought tickets for for the Sundance Film Festival. See, we wanted to go to the festival so we could hopefully spot some celebs, but we were stupid and bought tickets for a film at the Sundance Resort, NOT Park City. We're idiots. So it snowed a lot on Friday and it is very dangerous to be driving all over the mountains. Our plan was to hit the movie and then make our way to Park City. Well we got to the movie alright, but when we got out of the movie, it had snowed a lot and the canyon out of the resort was closed for about a half hour. So we sat around for awhile before they let us through the canyon, and even then we made our way through oh so slowly because of the snow. So we finally got out of the canyon and decided that we were really hungry so we went to a Chili's near Julie's house. We then decided that it wasnt a good idea to go back through the mountains to get to Park City so we just went to Julie's and watched a movie. So we didnt get to hang out with the celebs like we wanted to. So it was a little disappointing, but I believe we all still had a good time! I mean, I sure did! haha! Also, we took a picture of ourselves at the resort, but I am not in possession of it at this time, so I will have to find a way to get to it and post it for all to see! :D Haha! Oh and I got a new phone! yay me

Some Unluck

Saturday, January 16, 2010, was a day of unluck. On this day, my phone decided to shower with me. When I realized what had happened, I am sure you can imagine my dismay and pissed-offness. Well, I layed my phone out to dry, I even blowed dried it a bit. It still wasnt working, but I found out that if you put your wet phone in a bag of rice, it draws the water out of the phone and should work after a day. Well I waited two days actually and it still wouldnt turn on. I wondered why it didnt work. Then I learned that it fries your phone if you blow dry it. So there was my big mistake. Well I havent been without a phone too long because my brother dropped off my old phone to me on his way to Bear Lake. However, this is a crap phone. I lost all my pictures and even some contacts. I am currently trying to find a new phone, one that at least has a camera. I have a few options, so we'll see what happens. Till then I am stuck with this crap phone. However, I am grateful I at least have a phone.....

a new semester!

Well it is a new semester. It is also a new year; a time for change. So far I am really excited for my new classes. I am taking Landscape Architecture, Humanities: Civilization, Nutrition, and History of Architecture and Furnishings II. Later in the semester I will be taking Interior Design Seminar and Kayaking! This is gonna be a great semester :)

Christmas Break

To start, this second picture is from Christmas Eve. My family came over

to my house for some dinner and then we had our little program afterwards;

which included the story of the nativity. When my siblings and I were younger,

we would dress up in costumes and "act out" the nativity while our mom read

along. Well since we're all grown up now, we dressed up the kids! Jack was Joseph,

Lily was Mary, and Hunter was the angel. The kids were having fun while we

were taking pictures, except for happy Hunter there. Haha. Anyways, Christmas

was way fun with my family.

For the next week we were busy getting Cara ready to move up to college

in Idaho. She moved up on Saturday. New Year's Eve was a lot of fun, Steph

and I had a party with a lot of our friends. At the top is one of many pictures

taken that night.

Well I haven't done a whole lot over the break that is worthy of note. Nor do

I have any pictures to illustrate any said events. I have one more week of

break. It has been a 4 week break. A long break. It's time to go back, but

the break has been nice. Well we'll see what happens till then!

Au Revoir! :D