oh blogs. i dont know why i even have one. oh ya! so i can write down random thoughts and rants on a place that i dont care who sees. normally, i care too much about what others think. but here, i like to think that no one reads it and then i feel like i can just let out my feelings.
concerning tumblrs: whats so great about them versus blogs? two of my friends recently each made one. some of my other friends have them as "anti-blogs". whats wrong with blogs? i have one. actually, i have two. so there shouldnt be anything wrong with them.
so these last couple of days have been weird for me. and i dont know why. it's like my days are blurring by now. when people ask how my day was, it takes me a second to think about my day. usually i cant think of any specific thing that made my day good. usually its just that my day was eh--not good, not bad. also, since i am a pretty social person, i try to hurry and get my homework done before i go hang out with people. im eager to get out of my apartment and go see people. but as soon as i get there, i feel the need to create an excuse to get out of there. i love my friends, dont get me wrong, but i wonder if im getting bored of them. which is weird because i love to hang out with them. i have thought of three possible reasons for this:
1. im socially exhausted. yes, that is possible. since i hang out with people all the time, i find it tiresome. especially when we are always staying up really late then needing to wake up early the next day for classes. and just being around people all the time, makes me sick of them.
the cure: have more "me time", or go home one weekend (like im doing this weekend) then come back ready to see your friends again
2. we're running out of exciting things to do. my friends and i are pretty random people, so i dont know why this would be happening. but lately when i go to my friend's apartment all we end up doing is sitting around for awhile before we make the decision to watch a movie and sit around some more. for the first few weeks of school there was always something going on, so we would usually get out and do something before coming back and watching a movie to relax and wind down before going home to go to bed. so it makes me want to go home earlier or not hang out with them because nothing is going on.
the cure: tell people to stop being so fizzing LAZY!
3. im really missing my two best friends. one of them is in New Hampshire. the other is in Indonesia. can you guess why? mishy mishs. yup. i know theyre out there doing what theyre supposed to be doing, but i cant help wishing that they were back home, here with me. i am writing both of them. ive been waiting to here back from the NH one because a) it doesnt take as long to get there and back and b) i wrote him over a week ago and should have gotten a letter earlier this week. the Indonesia one i just barely sent him a letter and it takes 2 weeks there and 2 weeks back. the last i wrote him was the beginning of august and i havent heard from him since, so thats why i wrote him another letter now. so its going to be awhile again before i hear from him. enough of the stats... i think because im missing these two so much that it's effecting my days. too many things remind me of them and i keep finding myself daydreaming to much. so ive been out of it.
the cure: patience. which i have none of.
in conclusion: any, none, or all three of these reasons could be why im acting so weird lately. while im trying to decide which it is, i am just living each day, going to my classes, getting homework and other things done, and just goin with the flow. sometimes the flow is pushing me along too fast or too much and i dont like it. i need to have some resistance to the current. it's what keeps me going in life.
or maybe i just need to find things, even small things (like when i saw a rubber band lying on the ground. -if you dont know, then ask) to make me happy each day so that when people ask me how my day was i can tell them, without hesitation, how great it really was.
p.s. im going to get a Beta fish next week. :)
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