concerning tumblr part 2

so you know how i was totally fine with not having a tumblr and just sticking with blogspot? well i found out for myself that tumblr is much more awesome. goodbye blogspot!

p.s. i might still get on here every once in awhile

library again

well guess what! i am back in the library! wOOt.

this time i am not doing homework or writing a paper. instead i am killing time between classes. its been awhile since i posted a blog so i decided that since i have time to kill i might as well blab on and on in a blog post :)

well, i dont really know what to talk about. these last couple weeks have been a blur because of all the homework ive had.

papers, and projects, and presentations, OH MY!

yeah. just like that. last night my brain finally fried. but i cant stop yet. i still have two finals next week. boo.

ok bye.

Library

so i am currently in my university's library. i am making my sad attempt of writing my theater research paper. i know that i need to get this paper done... as it is due in 2 days. but i just can't get my thoughts straight. its a saturday. i should be back at my apartment sleeping, cleaning, and doing laundry. yes, all three at the same time. i am that talented. however, when i need to get homework done, the library on an early saturday afternoon is quite nice. no one, i repeat NO ONE is in the library at this time. so its way nice to come and get homework done here. its quiet and peaceful. i like it. ever since the first time i stepped foot into this building on a little tour of campus, i fell in love with this building. there are windows everywhere so a lot of natural light comes in. i am all about the natural light. its makes everything so bright and happy and the colors are so crisp and beautiful. its raining outside right now. its cold rain. and its winter. so i dont like it. one of my favorite things is summer rainstorms. its so warm outside and the rain is just so refreshing! ah man, i miss summer. silly winter. i love the holidays associated with winter, but i refuse to like snow or listen to christmas music before thanksgiving. however, i think snow should only be allowed december 24-jan 1. thats it. you get 1 week snow! ok enough of this ranting, ive got a paper to write! ;)

hear ye! hear ye!

so i really dont know if i even have anyone reading my blog. so please put a comment on here to let me know if you read my blog.... im really curious to know who my audience is. thank you!

hmmm...

wow things have been way weird lately. i dont even know how to begin to describe it. ive really been trying to get a hold of things, but things just dont end up working out. it drives me insane because i feel the need to always have a plan. and right now i have no idea what im doing. this last like month has been way boring. no one ever wants to go do anything anymore. the first few weeks since being here were way fun! meeting people, going to parties, and just plain hanging out. now, its just the hassle of trying to get groups of people together and hanging out. we make plans, but they always fall through for some reason or another. and then we end up just watching a movie (most likely a chick flick) in our apartment, alone (no boys). its quite annoying. i mean, i dont want my college experience to be like this. what we had the first weeks was awesome. there was always something fun going on and someone way fun to go party with. i mean, i know we all have homework and work and such, but that doesnt mean we have to stop playing! the weekends are for PLAY. why should i spend my saturday night watching chick flicks and making an 8 o'clock Walmart run. i mean, really? ugh. im trying, so then whats the problem? do i act too immature? am i rude? do i smell funny? what is it?

"where words fail, music speaks"

it makes me sad how i dont listen to my music much anymore. i dont even carry my iPod with me to class. i just leave it in my iPod dock at home. when im in my room getting ready for school/bed is now the only time i really turn it on. or if im in my room doing homework and cleaning and such. i used to pop in my headphones while i walked to class. but im weird and dont like to totally tune out the world each time i walk to class. i like to be able to communicate with people as im walking. and plus i just look so emo with my headphones and forgetting that the world exists around me. on my other blog i like to copy down the lyrics to whatever song really sticks out to me each day. but today, as i was about to write a new post on that blog, no song came to mind. no song was i really feeling it for. its sad because i love being able to find songs that i can really relate to at different times in my life. i mean, i got a letter from my best friend yesterday, then i listened to his playlist. even then did i not find a song. i find this very odd.

i am not very good with words so i hold to the saying, "where words fail, music speaks". i originally found that quote on some guys shirt at Warped Tour this summer. for awhile i had been trying to phrase exactly that. and when i saw that i immediatly (i never know how to spell that right...) copied it down into my phone. in my Music and Lyrics notebook, i have it written down on the front page--just to explain what that notebook is really about. this last summer i transferred the purpose of that notebook to my other blog. because, you know, everything should be electronic these days, right? ha...

i dont even know if anyone reads my blog anymore. but just so you know, i have another blog that i had kept secret for awhile, but now i dont care who sees it. i dont really know what the point to this post is. but you know me, i just like to ramble on about random things.

blah. blahg....blog?

oh blogs. i dont know why i even have one. oh ya! so i can write down random thoughts and rants on a place that i dont care who sees. normally, i care too much about what others think. but here, i like to think that no one reads it and then i feel like i can just let out my feelings.

concerning tumblrs: whats so great about them versus blogs? two of my friends recently each made one. some of my other friends have them as "anti-blogs". whats wrong with blogs? i have one. actually, i have two. so there shouldnt be anything wrong with them.

so these last couple of days have been weird for me. and i dont know why. it's like my days are blurring by now. when people ask how my day was, it takes me a second to think about my day. usually i cant think of any specific thing that made my day good. usually its just that my day was eh--not good, not bad. also, since i am a pretty social person, i try to hurry and get my homework done before i go hang out with people. im eager to get out of my apartment and go see people. but as soon as i get there, i feel the need to create an excuse to get out of there. i love my friends, dont get me wrong, but i wonder if im getting bored of them. which is weird because i love to hang out with them. i have thought of three possible reasons for this:

1. im socially exhausted. yes, that is possible. since i hang out with people all the time, i find it tiresome. especially when we are always staying up really late then needing to wake up early the next day for classes. and just being around people all the time, makes me sick of them.
the cure: have more "me time", or go home one weekend (like im doing this weekend) then come back ready to see your friends again

2. we're running out of exciting things to do. my friends and i are pretty random people, so i dont know why this would be happening. but lately when i go to my friend's apartment all we end up doing is sitting around for awhile before we make the decision to watch a movie and sit around some more. for the first few weeks of school there was always something going on, so we would usually get out and do something before coming back and watching a movie to relax and wind down before going home to go to bed. so it makes me want to go home earlier or not hang out with them because nothing is going on.
the cure: tell people to stop being so fizzing LAZY!

3. im really missing my two best friends. one of them is in New Hampshire. the other is in Indonesia. can you guess why? mishy mishs. yup. i know theyre out there doing what theyre supposed to be doing, but i cant help wishing that they were back home, here with me. i am writing both of them. ive been waiting to here back from the NH one because a) it doesnt take as long to get there and back and b) i wrote him over a week ago and should have gotten a letter earlier this week. the Indonesia one i just barely sent him a letter and it takes 2 weeks there and 2 weeks back. the last i wrote him was the beginning of august and i havent heard from him since, so thats why i wrote him another letter now. so its going to be awhile again before i hear from him. enough of the stats... i think because im missing these two so much that it's effecting my days. too many things remind me of them and i keep finding myself daydreaming to much. so ive been out of it.
the cure: patience. which i have none of.

in conclusion: any, none, or all three of these reasons could be why im acting so weird lately. while im trying to decide which it is, i am just living each day, going to my classes, getting homework and other things done, and just goin with the flow. sometimes the flow is pushing me along too fast or too much and i dont like it. i need to have some resistance to the current. it's what keeps me going in life.

or maybe i just need to find things, even small things (like when i saw a rubber band lying on the ground. -if you dont know, then ask) to make me happy each day so that when people ask me how my day was i can tell them, without hesitation, how great it really was.

p.s. im going to get a Beta fish next week. :)

you fool!

so im back in Logan now. wOOt. ive actually had a ton of fun in the whole two weeks (well almost two weeks...) that ive been here! the very first night we were here, some boys came knocking on Lindsay's door. we let them in and started talking. we actually all sat on the same couch together. you'd think that it'd be awkward to be sitting so close with people--especially boys-- that you just met, but it totally wasnt at all. we feel like we instantly connected with these boys and all became really good friends! seriously every night (except tonight for some reason... maybe we were all just doing homework and were tired or something) we have hung out. most nights we dont go home till almost 3 AM. bad habit i know. but so worth it. and hey, im in college, i dont have a freakin curfew, why not stay out late? so far we have watched lots of movies, gone to an outdoor movie, an 80's dance, the Red Jumpsuit Apparatu concert, the Quietdrive concert, camping, and swimming with these guys! there's a little saying that goes like this: GOOD GRADES, SOCIAL LIFE, SLEEP: PICK ONE. it is SO true in college. i wish i could have all three... but i think you can at least have two. so i pick good grades and social life! but sleep is so crucial... bah. this sucks. speaking of which... i should probably be doing just that. but i felt the need to ramble on on my blog. are you enjoying? you should be. or else stop reading my blog you fool. anywho... so im enjoying my classes so far... they dont seem so bad yet... but we'll see how quickly my opinion changes when i have to write one of the billions of papers this semester. barf. ya thats right. i just barfed all over my laptop. just kidding, i really didnt. anyways.... prepare for another random blog. because i miss my random blogs. i had a lot of them last year when i first started this blog. but i guess we'll have to see what happens. tata

p.s. in my "Me-time" yesterday i pulled out a notebook and wrote a letter i dont intend to ever send to guess who. ya thats right... im still feeling it. its nuts. i also got to write in my journal! which i should be a good girl and do more of... being a good girl? or writing in my journal? hmmm i'll let you decide. blah....