past, present, future

so lately ive been rereading some of my old journal entries. its amazing how things change so much over such a short time. this particular journal i started in november of 2008. i dont write everyday, but i did pretty good over the last year. anyways, so there are specific things i was rereading today, things i had forgotten about, things that have changed drastically. some entries from last summer stuck out to me because they parallel how i feel right now about some things. its funny how life does that to you sometimes. reading these entries brings back lots of memories, i remember how i felt those days, what i was thinking, what i was wishing were different. too many times do i wish i could go back and change things. but i cant. its too late. i can only make for a better future by learning from my past experiences. ive been pondering a lot about the future lately and there are so many things i want to happen and i just want to get to that point of time NOW. but there's no way to do that of course. i just got to live each day and keep moving forward till i get to that day. we all have dreams, we all wish for better and newer things to happen to us. i daydream a lot. as i walk around campus i daydream and hope for something exciting to happen. like maybe someone will be around the corner and surprise me, or come up from behind me and give me a big hug. it never happens though. i want to go back to the way things were. i made a choice and followed through with it. sometimes i wonder why i did that. can't i just change my mind and go back to the way things were? no. it doesnt work that way. i must face the consequences of my actions. not all consequences are bad, keep that in mind. did i make the right choice? i feel that i did. but there are just those times when i feel so alone. and then i wonder if what i did really was for the best. i dont know why i beat myself up over these things, but it just happens. i will try to make for a better future. things are so much better and they just keep getting better, and im grateful for that. chin up!