wahoo last week!

so its my last week of classes! WAHOO!!! finals are next week... boo. anyways so thanksgiving break was good, it was nice to just relax and hang out with the family and also see some old friends :) things with friends didnt go exactly how i expected, i messed up in a few areas, and payed for it dearly. i thought i had lost my best friend for good, but we talked things through and things are a lot better now! :)i hate losing friends, but i love getting them back! it was fun seeing lots of my friends at one of our dear friend's mission farewell! and im so freaking excited for this wednesday because there's a basketball game and my friends from the rival school are coming up to it! i cant wait to see them! :D also if some of my blogs dont make sense to you at all, no need to worry! just know that i love to listen to music and find songs/lyrics that relate to my life. when i find some i start thinking about lots of things and i just have to write them somewhere! i have my music and lyrics notebook, but sometimes they'll end up on my blog or facebook :) so ya... there's my little disclaimer on that subject. anyways ive got lots to do this week getting ready for the end of semester so toodles!! :D

10 things

1. if i could go back there's so much i would change
2. where's the fairytale life i want?
3. too much daydreaming
4. i just want to have some fun, be rebellious
5. you arent hearing what im saying to you
6. time to escape reality
7. "im not a princess, this ain't a fairytale"
8. "breaking down and coming undone, its a roller coaster kind of rush
9. "it's like a million little stars spelling out your name"
10. "i said 'leave', but all i really want is you, to stand outside my window throwing pebbles, screaming 'i'm in love with you' "

conclusion: i shouldnt be alone with my thoughts for so long. it can be dangerous.

past, present, future

so lately ive been rereading some of my old journal entries. its amazing how things change so much over such a short time. this particular journal i started in november of 2008. i dont write everyday, but i did pretty good over the last year. anyways, so there are specific things i was rereading today, things i had forgotten about, things that have changed drastically. some entries from last summer stuck out to me because they parallel how i feel right now about some things. its funny how life does that to you sometimes. reading these entries brings back lots of memories, i remember how i felt those days, what i was thinking, what i was wishing were different. too many times do i wish i could go back and change things. but i cant. its too late. i can only make for a better future by learning from my past experiences. ive been pondering a lot about the future lately and there are so many things i want to happen and i just want to get to that point of time NOW. but there's no way to do that of course. i just got to live each day and keep moving forward till i get to that day. we all have dreams, we all wish for better and newer things to happen to us. i daydream a lot. as i walk around campus i daydream and hope for something exciting to happen. like maybe someone will be around the corner and surprise me, or come up from behind me and give me a big hug. it never happens though. i want to go back to the way things were. i made a choice and followed through with it. sometimes i wonder why i did that. can't i just change my mind and go back to the way things were? no. it doesnt work that way. i must face the consequences of my actions. not all consequences are bad, keep that in mind. did i make the right choice? i feel that i did. but there are just those times when i feel so alone. and then i wonder if what i did really was for the best. i dont know why i beat myself up over these things, but it just happens. i will try to make for a better future. things are so much better and they just keep getting better, and im grateful for that. chin up!

boring.

well, its official. Logan is boring. especially in winter! so this weekend has been long and boring. friday me and steph didnt want to be stuck at our dorm all night so we went and looked around at stores in the mall and around town. neither of us have money, so that helped a little. then we went to a 3-dollar movie at the discount theater, The Invention of Lying. it was good. funny. kinda weird. later that night kristin and spencer came over and played Imaginiff with us, that was nice seeing those guys. saturday we slept in for quite awhile. we sat around doing nothing pretty much all day. i made breadsticks though. we watched Chocolat- which made my crave chocolate real bad. steph left for a concert and didnt get back till later that night. Me, Julie, and Chelsie were bored. we watched the Jazz game! then Julie's friends Ben and Isaac came over and we watched Get Smart! funny movie! ya... what an eventful night. after people left me and julie did something that i cant say on here :) and then when steph got back we watched a movie. went to bed around 3. woke up this morning at 1130 and got ready for church. we havent been doing much since. we made dinner. now we're just chilling. im in my room by myself because sometimes i just like to be alone and do things. so thats what im going to go do now... be alone with my thoughts some more :) tata

Music and Lyrics

so just started a new notebook. it's called Music and Lyrics. it's a notebook for all those little song lyrics that stick out to me whenever i am listening to a song. so i write them down in my notebook and date them so i can remember them :) here's a picture of my cool notebook ...

a week has gone by...

this past week is such a blur. i cant believe i went without blogging for over a week! it really has been a crazy week. it was like a roller coaster. i had so many ups and downs that it was starting to give me whiplash! but its a new week and things are going to be better. but other than a crazy week, im doing great! last weekend i got to spend some time with my sister! we had a sister date on friday! we rented movies from top hat, got food from spanky's, and dessert from yogurt stop! twas so much fun! on saturday we went to the DI to look at books! then we looked at old picture frames! we found some really good ones and we took them home and painted them while watching Beauty and the Beast! and then on sunday it was my cousin's farewell and i got to see tons of my extended family! and then my niece and nephews were so cute! haha :)

Petsmart Adventure

Me, Steph, and Linz went to Petsmart on friday too! we went to look at the kitties that are there available to adopt. well that was a bad idea from the start! i love kitties so much! they had some really cute ones there at the store! i wanted so badly to adopt them all and bring them back with me to my dorm! well we know that that wouldnt work...! so i decided that i wouldnt mind being the "cat lady" someday! but i'll have a husband and kids of course! so i wont be the real "cat lady"! but i just love kitties so much and i wouldnt mind having lots of them! also at Petsmart i bought some rocks to put in my fish, Charlie's little tank! he loves them! also, Steph bought a betta fish too! heehee

Another Firehouse Adventure

Time for another Firehouse Adventure!! so friday, steph, linz, and i went and got some pizza! we had a cute waiter so we decided to write a few love notes on the receipt before we left. so we did. we were going to come back with julie and chelsie to get fh'zookies so we didnt get dessert then. well we told julie and chels about the waiter, they kept saying how funny it would be if we got the same waiter. well guess what happend... we got the same waiter! what are the odds!? haha of course the waiter recognized us! he go a little flustered.. it was funny. haha it was so fun though! man... now i am craving a fh'zookie... :)

LEAF PILES!

We found leaf piles in the cemetery! here are some pictures we took! :D

this first one is of me diving into the leaves :)



this one is of me and steph the tree-huggers

Steph doing the "high school musical jump"

julie throwing leaves up in the air with pure enjoyment

look how many leaves there are! how glorious a find!

now its my turn to throw leaves up in the air with pure enjoyment

she's in one of her moods!

so i didnt have anything to do today. i watched my Charlie's Angels movie in my laziness. then i felt too lazy and looked around my dorm and noticed how dirty it was. so i retrieved the vacuum from the hall closet and i vacuumed my whole dorm. then i swept the floors. then i cleaned off the counter. then i put the clean dishes away. then i took out the garbages and recycling. for my facebook status today i put: "Marlee Haywood is in one of her moods where she has to clean everything in sight. good news?: the apartment is clean. bad news?: she's been alone and in sweats all day." lol i thought my status clever. but seriously, after watching my movie i cranked up my music and danced around my dorm while i cleaned! it was fun! it was exactly what i needed because the last couple days havent been so happy-making. anyways, my next post will be about what i did this evening involving leaves and wonderment. :)

inspirational words!

so today i had the opportunity to hear President Uchtdorf in a CES fireside. his words brought joy and comfort to my heart. i wrote as much as i could in the notebook i brought with me. his message was an answer to my prayers. when i got home i had a message from a dear friend of mine, after his message he told me to watch a video of a talk by an Elder Busche on youtube. so i pressed the play button and listened to the video. i grabbed the nearest notebook and wrote down everything he said so that i can go back and review his awesome advice. his words were also an answer to my prayers. its amazing how after waiting for so long for your prayers to be answered, that they are answered all at once! it is such a great feeling! i am so happy right now, you dont even know. :)